Here is an article about how blogging may be good for your health.
I am not my hair
Right now my hair and I are not having a good relationship with one another. Most black women tend to have a love/hate relationship with their hair. I few months ago I did the BC, for the natural hair challenge that means that I cut out all the chemicals out of my hair and I am growing out my natural hair texture. I did the BC the first time when I was about 18 in college, it was so easy to take care of and I looked so much different than the other girls, most of the guys liked it so I don't think it looked butch and I was also a size 6/8 so maybe they weren't really looking at my hair anyway.
When I met my husband at 22 I was still what I like to refer to as naptural (nappy/natural) and he told me that he thought I would look nice with long hair, so I enslave myself with a relaxer for love and grew my chemically processed hair all the way down my back. The only time that I really liked my hair was when I was pregnant, it was so strong and healthy but when my daughter was about 6 months old my hair started falling out...in clumps. I was so distraught. So I had it cut shorter and shorter, while still relaxing it, until a couple months ago when I cut it all off. At first it was a shock, because it went from being shoulder length to about an inch long. Then I was sad because it didn't look the same that it did when I was 18, of course i was several pounds lighter a 18. And the texture has changed its more curly than wavy.
Then I realized that all these years that I have been hiding behind my hair, it didn't matter that I was heavy because I had nice hair. Saying it out loud and typing it sounds so ridiculous but whats more ridiculous it the fact that its true, my hair was sort of like my safety net. I feel like now with short hair, people look at how heavy I am than they did before. It sound so crazy, but I noticed that most of us fat chicks have long hair.
The problem with it now is dryness and frizziness. I have looked at all these chat rooms of women who have curly hair are are going through some of the same issues that i am having, but these chicks are way more extreme that I ever want to be. Some of the shit that they good onto their hair is crazy, I don't have the money, time and patience for all of it. What I really need to do is to break up with my hair gel but its so hard because it does hep it look nice at least for a few hours, but by the end of the day my curls are so crunchy and brittle it just feels so gross.
My hair needs to find its happy place and right now its not happy on my head! I ill keep you updated!
I got it from my mama
I wanna talk a little about my personal style. My biggest influence is my mother. When I was little, my mother always dressed me in dresses and bows and till today people that remember me as a child still remark how well my mother dressed me. And now as an adult, after so many looks, like the baggy high school days and then there was the hoochie mama college years and then more recently the messy mommy look, I think that I have finally come into my style at almost 30.
I always joke that my mother is always dressed better than everyone else in the room. I remember when I was a kid and my mother was always so stylish. She had the cool 80's matching beads and earrings, and the hip riding boots and the nicest coach bag\s. I had aunts and friends mothers that walked around looking like holy hell all the timand embarrassed their kids, but I don't ever remember being embarrassed by the was she dressed.
I asked her one day why is she so dressy all the time and she told me its better to be the best dressed person in the room than the worst dressed. So now, no matter where I go, the kids doctor appointments, meetings at school, to the zoo or the grocery store, I always look in the mirror and try and take it up notch. Either I put on my nice earrings or colorful necklace or a little blush and those little thing not only make me feel and look better, but makes me look like I put so much effort into jeans in a tee shirt.
So I will tweak my mothers style philosophy and say, its better to be overdressed than look a hot mess! PREACH!
Keeping it Real(ity):Real World
My fix last night is The Real World:Hollywood. This has been the best season in a long time. Mtv has also made the shows an hour long and added all these mini clips online (which are kinda lame, with the exception of an occasional nip slip or tush shot). I think that the people this season seem to have come with all sorts of emotional baggage and it makes is so interesting. Its not the typical frat boys and sorority girls, they have strippers and alchoholics this season!
Its a shame that this is what is takes to draw people in to watch, hell its got me watching!
Anyway nothing good happend tonight, more fights where Will gets sent away for acting a fool during argument with Greg. I think that Greg got what he deserved with will hooking up with that skanky girl Reva, but he went over the line with the comment about Greg's father. Then there was the naked hot tub romp, which made feel like I needed a shower after. Kim is such an ick, I can't stand her. I was hoping that someone would just hold her head under water for a few minutes. Joey is back from rehab, but he isn't going to last much longer. From what I hear Joey leaves because he couldn't handle living in the house with all the partying. I think that if he leaves it will be for the best because that is the wrong environment for someone with an addiction. Then I hear that Greg gets fired for the improv job and he has to leave, good riddance, I guess Reva will only have one dick to suck in the house!
The new cast mates are really hot, and surprisingly both black. I thought they went over their quota with Bree (although she is half white) Will and Greg, now they will be the majority in the house (awesome, its about time). I also hear that the other girl, the prude, Sarah, get engaged to her boyfriend before the end of the season.
Bree is by far and away my favorite cast member since Coral in the back to New York season. I found her myspace page and she has some of her music on there, she sound so good. I would definitely by her album. www.myspace.com/briannataylorofficial
Let the other shoe drop
Even though I am most comfortable with and aspire to always be the funny, witty and slightly abrasive, that is not really who I am. I am uber shy and quiet. I have been that way since a child. I think that I suffer from some sort of social anxiety. I totally freeze up in most social situations and I wish that I could melt into the wall when I am out in public. Now don't get it twisted, I am not some nutty recluse with sox (Go Red Sox, sorry crazy Boston Fan) on my hands and fourteen cats. I do wish that I could be more outgoing, especially for my kids, they deserve that kind of mother. Daily I have to remind myself to make baby steps for them. No one that knows me besides my husband knows that I have this fear. Those that think they know me only see me as this confident woman and they have no idea how tiring it is to keep up. I always get so mad at myself for caring what other people think of me, but I know that is why I am the way that I am.
I grew up in a weird household, I have three older half brothers, the youngest was 9 years older that me and he was the only one lived with me growing up. My parents were never married and it always seemed that my mother was waiting to get away from my father, he wasn't physically abusive, he was just an asshole. So when I was 12 they split and I stayed with my mother. For most of my life I felt like my dad could give a shit about me, he was there but more like a piece of furniture than a father figure, my brother was more like a dad to me. And at 12 I needed a father more than ever, someone to tell me that boys suck and someone to tell boys that he was going to give them a stern taking to and shown some of his old marine moves when they came calling for me. I never got that. With him it was mostly about money, as long as he didn't have to pay he was fine with it. I cried when I had to ask him to help us pay for our wedding. Now he has cancer and I thought that he would come around because he is sick, but no, so I have kind of made peace with the fact that he will never be the father that I needed him to be.
My mother on the other hand has always been the strong woman that i needed in a mother. She would give anything for my brother and I. The trade off is she is very critical of me and she is sometimes had to please. I think that she expected a lot of me when I was growing up and when I didn't go the direction that she wanted for me, I felt like she was dissapointed in me. Now as an adult I still feel like I need to impress my mother, I feel like I have her approval with the kids and my marriage, but I know that I have fallen by the waist side when it come to my career choices.
I feel like I have limited myself to admin work because of my fear of social situations. My goal is to be an interior designer, but I know with that I will have to be in so many situations where I will need to be the center of attention and I am so not comfortable with that. Now that the baby is getting older I decided to finish my degree, I am hoping that having the degree will give me the confidence to excel as a designer.
DROP!!!!!!!
Keeping it Real(ity): Let's skank it up with Tila Tequila
So my fix for tonight was A shot at love with Tila Tequila. This has to be one of the most contrived reality shows there is, but it does make for good reality television. For those that are reality disabled, Tila is a bisexual internet star that used to be or maybe still is a stripper and she is on a mission to find love through ridiculous contests and make out sessions with more than one person in one evening. Anyway she eliminates people on whether or not they made out or if they can eat pig vagina or do wasabi shots. This week she got rid of a chick named glitter and some guy that looked like he needed a bath. Sounds riveting, huh? Its MTV's top rated too.
I think that the lure of the show is one this concept has never been doneefore (except for season 1 of the show and possibly, next season) with a bisexual. And even if Tila is a bit skanky looking she is sooo much better looking that Flavor Flav and New York who have completely exhausted their 15 minuted looking for love. I actually don't become ill when someone kisses on this show.
I am going to make my prediction for the final two, I think that it will be Bo and Lisa. But who cares what I think!
GirlProps
I am a girly girl and I have a special relationship with shoes, jewelry, makeup and shoes (yes, shoes are my favorite). I am always coming across new and cool websites that I want to share.
In one of my magazines I came across this website www.girlprops.com, it has all types of jewelry and its super cheap. I ordered the Afro Mud Flap Girl Charm last week. They have one cool catagory of vegetable and fruit inspired jewelry, I don't think that I am cool enough to wear food though.
This is the charm:
Allow me to introduce myself
This is so out of my little box for me! I have always been the type of person who was much better with writing my thoughts than expressing them verbally, but blogging is so not my thing, until now I guess. I don't believe that anyone is really going to give a shit what I write in my blog, because for the most part I am boring with a boring life, but I fill the void by trying to be witty, sarcastic and judgemental and those my friends are just my good qualities.
How boring you ask, I am married with two kids and I am a stay at home mom, yes that boring. I've had this gig for about year, I have watched so much PBS kids and Disney I am regressing and Maury's DNA results and wild teen sluts shows are making me dumber. My hubby must have heard my silent cries of boardness (that's a word right) So he got me this lap top over the weekend. What do non working people do online all day (besides porn) So I am already so sick of baby bump watch on gossip sites and I am too damned old for Myspace (yes 30 is too old for Myspace, people, but yes I still have a page anyway for networking purposed, what a joke), I don't really have any friends to chat with (i've been known to keep it a little too real, so most of my friends think I am too abrasive, those bitches).
So I thought why keep all these cheery rainbows and sunshine thoughts to myself. Why not share my shitty, but at times comical personality with those who may listen.
I guess this blogs is about me and my thoughts, some of my lame poetry, cool songs i like, my obsession with reality television(i know ya'll saw the Flavor of love reunion last night) and any other wacky shit I can come up with.
Disclaimer- Please excuse my misspelled words and typos as I am too lazy for spellcheck and above proofreading!
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